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= I'm Gonna Make You Tap Bitch =
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/29/2004 11:42:00 PM |
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=My Big Day Tomorrow...=
Tomorrow is my driving test. I can't take it anymore, I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm afraid, will i pass or fail? The suspense is killing me. Argh! I have been waiting for this test for so long I can't fail. Remember in j1 everyone was saying oh 86 batch change to 21. I was so worried, on my birthday I quickly went and reg for driving.
Now the test is here, I want to pass. Please god, I pray for a peace of mind, to not be nervous, and that my tester judge me accurately for my ability to handle the car and not other factors. I just pray for a fair assessment. Thank you god.
Monday, June 28, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/28/2004 11:59:00 PM |
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=I Hate Myself...=
I curse and I swear. I really being me.
Not directing it at anyone, except myself.
Why Why Why, sms is such a simple thing. Why can't i just hear something from you? Like oh I'm home, then i will not be worried. When i tell you this you said, "oh, don't worry nothing will happen." "oh I'm home already what."
Just msg me a short n quick msg is it very difficult, I'm not asking u to type an essay for me. Yes i know you have exams and i understand,but just before you sleep don't tell me you can't even msg me? Ah forget, i just have to fuck myself for being this type of a guy.
I guess I'm of no importance to you anymore. You don't care if i live or die, if I'm alright, if I'm at home. Go do whatever you like, don't bother about me. I'm non-existent.
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| :: Ashley | | 6/28/2004 09:04:00 PM |
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=Trust.....=
Trust is something you can't buy, you can't fake, you can't lie. If you don't trust a person no matter what you say, i trust you trust you, will not work. Deep down inside you will worry. Trust can only be gain through things that happen or it has gradually build. It does not happen instantly nor overnight.
Somehow the beach party this Sat making me worried cause She is going. What can I say, nothing. Its ok if she goes for normal clubbing, but a beach party makes me worry. Will she be just wearing a bikini, will guys try to hit on her, how will she react, what if she is scared to push them away.
Ahh fuck, kan ni na bei, Why am I feeling this way? Haven't scolded hokkien vulgarity. Feel much better, oh don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying it to you. Just wanted to release some stress from me.
Clubbing just so sinful, why do we club? Why do i find clubbing so thrilling and fun? I missed the speakers speech 2weeks ago. He spoke about clubbing and all the sinful things. Heard it from Eugene, I guess i should have been there.
Looking at MMA gears now, I want to get the fighting gloves, really nice, but i don't have credit card. Furthermore its $39.95 and i think it is in $US. Haha but nvm Im going to get it no matter what, I feel like this is one of the path I want to take. I want to be discipline and train hard for this sport. Hope I can do it.
I feel my life is in a mess... When something good happens, something bad will follow... I guess I'm fated to not be successful in everything i do.
Ah fuck it, I failed econs by a small margin, but a fail is a fail. Maths don't even talk about it, 18/70.. how failure is that. I just want to run away from everything.
I might get tempted to light up again.
Please, Please don't disappoint me, don't make me lose everything i had for you.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/27/2004 05:58:00 PM |
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=I Did It!=
Impossible is nothing when you believe.
I came in 2nd for the sms shootout. Really happy because i finally accomplish something. Since sec1 i never accomplish anything in the area of academics, nor in sports. Finally with the motivation and encouragement from pris i finally did it! Yeah! Thanks babe! I wouldn't have entered the competition without your persistent encouragement, asking me to join. I did not want to join because i was at first afraid to join but after she kept presuading me i thought what the heck.
Anyway i lost to this 23 year old or is she 21 yup yup She is really fast, she clocked like 3 43s timing, she really deserve to win man! Congrats ya.
Oh my timing was 43.66s and hers was 43.24, i think i was lucky to get that timing, haha. Anyway both of our timings are going to be in the Guinness Book Of World Record. No shit man. Oh btw, its because Guinness read to the seconds so both of our timings will be 43sec. But actually Im not sure cause Charles said channelU said only the girl going into Guinness, but during the competition singtel said they are sending both. Ahh Im not sure man.
A big thank you to those who wish me luck and of course to pris. She deserve most of the credit cause she was the only one encouraging, spurring me on, thanx girl =)
And god deserve it too, I know he was behind me. When i was nervous i prayed to him and i felt calm, on the stage when i was nervous, somehow all my thoughts were on god. God definately played a big part in my accomplishment.
Anyway Wednesday is my driving test, i hope all goes wel, I really hope i can pass though i doubt so..sigh.
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| :: Ashley | | 6/27/2004 12:36:00 AM |
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=France Vs Greece=
Great game, Love the greeks man! they never disappoint me. Betted on them the 1st match against portugal, did not win my bet but came close to winning 200 with a $10 bet. But this time I really hit jackpot. Sorry to say but i really hate France so i bet against them.
Took half time draw full time greece to win, odds were $19 bet $10. But just in case france win me and sunil took 1goal.
Who would have known we won both. Haha it must be the luck of the birthday boy cause it was sunil's birthday on sat. Anyway so happy France is out.
I know you support France, I'm sorry.
Anyway later on at 10.30 I will be having my sms contest at ngee ann city. Hope i type my fastest. haha take care everyone, going to see already.
Hope Holland wins tonight man!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/24/2004 07:47:00 PM |
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=If I Were You=
If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
I can't play your part in life
But I would surely walk my way
I cannot think the way you think
But I would never go away
You can trust me when I say
That I will always be for real
You can always count on me
No metter how alone you feel
If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you
I would never..
I would always..
I can't tell you what to do
I can only hope for more
More decisions to be good
Like the way they were before
I can't dream the things you dream
Cause I would not know where to start
Life is never what is seems
when two souls are far apart
I don't wanna know
How it feels to lose a friend
And if I were you
I would never leave again
If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you
If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you
=Candee Jay - If I Were You=
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/23/2004 04:00:00 PM |
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=Exams Over!=
Yay! exams over, but I have no where to go. Oh well guess its better to stay at home. It has been a while since i spend time with my bedroom. Haha
Econs was ok, just that i did not have the mood to do anything. Mcq was tough essay was ok. Sigh
Been playing games on my computer, one game called hooligans torm over europe. Great game man. Haha speaking of which i realise Im damn beng, i watched 15 again. Somehow I just love the gang cheers they shouted to. Haha i think they are damn cool man. Ya and i love techno, the only thing different is I cant speak chinese well and only speak english. haha
Sunday is the finals for the sms contest, hmm I wonder which position I'm in. As in cause i went for the trials and recorded a time of 52s, i heard the fastest was mid 40. Oh well have to train hard for it, the top prize is damn attractive can... 17.5K plus a pair of Gshock watch and a brand new nokia phone, think its the 7300. Its the one with the cloth cover. Yup and many more like free subscription for a year and many more. Haha but i doubt i will win though.
" Just Fuck It, Fail 1 Subject Is The Same As Failing 2 or 3. Whats The Use Of Getting AAF? Or AAA But Fail Gp?"
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/22/2004 11:21:00 AM |
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=Fucker=
Maths can come suck my cock man. Physics was ok. Now i have to get ready for the dreaded econs which is tomorrow. 2 essays waiting for me.
Something happened yesterday, not to me but to someone close to me. Shall not go into details, not a very good thing to say.
Anyway to whoever that guy is, you better watch out.
Ahh too fucking pissed off, going to the gym now, take care everyone.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/20/2004 11:11:00 PM |
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=SlOwLy...........=
I am slowly losing everything I once had......
I'm losing you...
I'm losing my friends...
I'm losing everything....
It's ok, I don't mind being alone. Sometimes i just want to be alone. Sigh I don't even know what I'm posting or trying to say, ah just FUCK it...
Everything has lost its meaning..
I remember people used to say, when no one is there for you, you still have god, god will always be there for you.
But i thought to myself, if god is always there for me, and i run to him when I'm alone, then isnt he just a subsitute. Someone to be there when we are sad, and when we are happy he is forgotten?
Well all these are just random thoughts....
Saturday, June 19, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/19/2004 11:44:00 PM |
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=Exams Drawing Closer.=
Monday is my maths terms then tuesday is physics wednesday the dreaded econs. Sigh im so not prepare for econs. I think I'm going to let Mr how down, he told us to not write less then required, as in write more, its ok if its out of point but at least have the length first. Yup now you can see how bad I am in econs. Nevermind, shall try my best in any case.
Going swimming tomorrow I think. Pris having her finals against jensenite(whatever the name is), ya hope src wins! Lets go pris!haha
Mixed was cancelled today for some unknown reason. Was quite sad, been looking forward to it.
Studied at serene centre though, could not concentrate long(how the mind of a slacking student works.)
Ate buffet at the gapz! great place, lovely food, but expensive prices haha.
Been trying to find techno ah beng cheers. Haha trying to learn new sounds that i can shout to techno. Yah I'm a beng i guess. *oie oie oieoie oieeee* * wooz wooz woowoowozz* *hua ah..hua ah...hua ah hua ah hua ah*
To eugene, 1 of my very few or rather rare friend that enjoy techno like me: "Oh le le, OIE! Oh la la OIE! "
Been losing soccer, like $100 so far. Argh sian, i feel might be falling back to the habit of gambling have to stop soon. At least I'm now betting like $10 $20 per match compared to the past where $50 $100 were considered the min. Well thats the past.
Felt sad today, thought of the future, how it will be. Felt lost in my own world, mind in a mess, thoughts came and go, there were so many, uncountable.
Tomorrow is Father's Day, everyone's buying gifts for their dad, But here I am wondering will I be spending tomorrow with him? i doubt so as he has yet to reply my msg.....
I wonder if I even have a dad........................
Ahhhh forget about everything.......
I still have you! My One and Only! Don't worry I will not and never will forget you. You're my solace, my angel, my pillar to lean on when I'm down, and you take my sorrows all away. Theres never a time when I'm sad when I'm with you.
Half The Sorrows, Double The Happiness! :)
Thursday, June 17, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/17/2004 01:32:00 AM |
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==
If you are scared to attack, you will get hurt even more.
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| :: Ashley | | 6/17/2004 01:01:00 AM |
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=I'm BeCoMiNg A sLaCkEr=
Sigh, I'm becoming a slacker. Last time when i ponned school i would feel guilty and even think twice about ponning it. I would think like if I ponned, the things i will be missing out, the amount of work i need to do to catch up , but now, i pon remedial without much thought to it. Sigh, what is wrong with me. Haiz
Missed mixed martial art cause had physics tuition, argh, hate missing mixed, it so fun. Oh well but studies comes first. Watching euro now, but i think I'm going to sleep already, really tired, eyes keep closing! haha anyway tomorrow will be going ktv with the usual people. Its kind of like erica farewell, shes going overseas, us i think. Sigh everyone going overseas. Anyway wish her all the best =)
But first going with pris to watch eternal sunshine, rachel said its a good show, well thats what she told pris so i guess i must see how good is it. I'm never really into this type of show, I'm the more, how to say, typical Singaporean. Shows like best bet interests me.
Oh i found a new techno Dj panda - Dreaming Of Fantasy
Friday, June 11, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/11/2004 05:42:00 PM |
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=7 hrs of physics remedial !=
7 hours of physics remedial, feel so brain dead. Have another 3 more of these intensive physics remedial. Actually we should thank CBH for conducting the revision, its for us, for our own good. She wants to see us get good grades for our A's right.
Feel so tired to do anything right now, sigh. Driving test coming, 30/6 wish me luck guys. I don't feel confident though, my instructor said i never perform safety check and thats why I'm going to fail. Well sigh, i really want to pass on 1st attempt guess that is really hard. Why do the Traffic police always pass girls so easily? I think its maybe they know girls will not mod their cars or drive very fast or race, and of course the TP are guys.....
In any case I still pray that i can pass on 1st attempt...
Terms are on the 21 22 23 of june, wonder how will i fare, have to rush through my econs, i must say, I'm least prepare for econs. When i see the questions, nothing comes to me. I remember in secondary school, whenever theres a lit history or ss essay to do and when i see the questions, at least there will be some brain storming or answers forming in my head. But now, its nothing, no anwers don't even talk about coming up with a conclusion or evaluation..................
Just wanted to say, size don't matter when you fight. I came across this ns mag that sunil showed us and it had this article on darren. He wrestled with this bodybuilder who is 35kg heavier than him. No fight at all, Darren took just a mere 15sec to finish this guy off haha. And after our MMA lessons rehan kept boasting how long he manage to wrestle with darren and stuff haha....ok bro..when you make him tap out then i will salute you but till then, we have to continue practising haha....
I have to pull through this.....................
I can't fail...........................
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/08/2004 10:36:00 AM |
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=Internet Back !=
Finally the guy came to fix the computer and the internet back on. Haha was talking to the computer guy, hes a nus undergrad and was from acjc too haha so qiao right.
Seriously i have no mood to blog, having a headache now. Recently been having bad headaches here and there, only when i'm with you then the headache gone........
Watched harry potter, the show really sucks. Don't get me wrong i love these wizard magical stuff, just that i felt the plot wasn't there. But still its the company of who you're watching with that counts. Best Bets later! I can't wait....hhaha
Mixed later, lets hope darren don't punch me too hard..... haha
Thursday, June 03, 2004
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| :: Ashley | | 6/03/2004 09:24:00 AM |
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=SiCk SiCk SiCk=
Argh hate falling sick, had fever for like 3days already. But guess what, i feel I'm recovering already, my fever went down, no more headache! yeah!
Sigh nothing much to blog about. Though i had fever i still went out. Monday Chinablack,which i did practically nothing, did not drink or dance. No mood and felt very tired
Tuesday faith's birthday, happy birhday girl, 18 already can club ya hehe =)
Stayed at home the whole day on wed. Wed was really bad, had a terrible headache, perspire like crazy even when i was in the aircon room haha.
Nothing much to say, shall end here.
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What I Know About Myself
