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= I'm Gonna Make You Tap Bitch =
Sunday, January 30, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/30/2005 05:19:00 PM |
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=Booking In=
Booking in in 2.5hrs time. It sucks when you know you are going back to hell.
Just came back from church...I love church...people there are so friendly and received a few advice on field camp. Damn, I really hate getting myself dirty....camo on for 7days? wtf.....gona walk pass the plum plantation...and according to beng..thats the place where the stand by organs occured. I'm scared...I'm really scared.
I love 7years and 50 days by groove coverage. I've been listening for so long but yet I never go sick of it. Everytime I listen to it, I pause for a moment and reflects on the things I done over the years.The people that been through it with me. How screw up I was only to realised it now...
Sigh, I'm so tired...everyone was asking why I looked so pale and tired...its army I tell you..
But then again, its not all that bad. Army has its plus points, I guess I will only see it after serving my time.
I know you are gona be alone. I wish I could be with you but you and I know it can't happen. But I will always be thinking of you in field camp. When camo is on my face, perspiration dripping down on my face, I'm smelly and dirty, lying on soil, sleeping with my camo on, marching through the jungle(hopefully I won't encounter any ghost).....you know I'm still thinking of you. I love you still.
Ps told us....what we are doing now is not for the nation.....we musn't lie to ourselves...the thing that is keeping us going is our love one. We are serving the army to be able to protect our love ones. My family, the people I love, so that no one can harm them. Of course inevitably we are defending our nation but the true objective is to protect the people we love, the people we care about, the people that made me who I am today.
I know I know
You have..to go
So hurry back home
I miss you so....
Saturday, January 29, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/29/2005 01:02:00 PM |
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=Super Shag=
I'm like so tired from all the training that I had. Body is aching, having a bad cough....sigh...
But somehow I feel that the training was worth it. We suffered together. The feeling was great. I remember how my whole platoon knock it down because half of our platoon had to knock it down as they had lost in the shutter run race. In the end, we just did everything together. Haha, it was so funny. The commanders were all smiling. Maybe BMT is not that bad after all.
Sigh, I'm confused. I hate the army yet I wana sign on. I guess I have to think through it carefully again. I remember I always told myself I will never sign on to the army but now I find myself thinking about signing on. Worse still the air force. I never had any interest in being a pilots, I never thought that pilots is a prestigious occupation or whatever. I always thought pilots were just pilots. I have always wanted to just serve the 2years and get the fuck out of tekong. Its weird huh. Haha cant believe it man.
Got my first scolding yesterday. Haha, shall not say more. In the end, We were not punish cause the commander believe us so ya. Us as in me and Qingyao.
Sigh, booking in tomorrow. Won't be booking out next week cause we are having range. I'm scared of range cause we will be handling live rounds. After that then it would be a long break for us from tuesday all the way to sunday. But after that, its fucking gona be field camp. Fuck, I have to learn how to bring illegal items to the camp site. Probably buy some camo removing cream or something. Haha. I hae field camp, I won't be able to bathe for like 7days? WTF!
Booking out
See my girlfriend
Saw her with
Another man
Killed the man
Rape my girlfriend
With my rifle and my buddy and me
Sunday, January 23, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/23/2005 09:44:00 AM |
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==
7years and 50 days
Now just look at me
Am I the girl I used to be?
So damn what do you see
- Groove Coverage
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I miss everything. I miss JC life. Haiz.......
I don't wana grow old. I'm scared of dying.
Sigh this week gona be hell for us. Orientation week is over. Hope I can go through it without being confine. I need to book out next week or else I would die inside there. I wana sleep on my bed. I wana be in my aircon room. Its great. Really great.
Last night was my last night sleeping in my room and the feeling awesome. Every night before I sleep I would think about all the JC people enjoying themselves. Sigh, I'm really home sick. I regret not enjoying myself in JC to the max. I feel I could have meet and talk to more people. I should have...I should have....but whats the point.......its over....
Now I have to learn to move on in life. Don't look back. You been through JC, the people now in JC will have to go through what I'm going through now.
Well at least in camp theres Qingyao tim wong and other nice people whom we go through the shit together. I don't mind going through the hard training with all my buddies. It feels great.
Actually the only bad thing of army is the sleeping time. We only have 6.5 barely 7 hrs of sleep though they say we have 7hrs.
Sigh, I miss my mambo nights too. The only consolation is Rehan has been telling me how lousy mambo night has become. Haha. But every night I would have to listen to retro songs to put me to sleep. The tunes of mambo songs in my head, recalling all the hand actions....It's great.
I miss all my friends.
I miss my family.
Army made me realised that actually my parents really love me alot though they don't really show it or rather I fail to notice it.
Bye guys...I be gone for another week. No more blogging for another week. I try my best to blog on days that I can come out. If I'm not too tired that is.
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| :: Ashley | | 1/23/2005 01:37:00 AM |
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=Confusion=
I'm booking in tomorrow. Sigh...I'm very sad.
I wana be a civilian.
Lots of things are going through my mind.
Is this what I really want to do?
Is this what god wants me to do?
Should I sign on to the army or continue to study?
When its not for me to decide but rather if I can make it through OCS and pass the pilot testing, only then will I have to decide. For now, I just let it be.
Bye civilians.
Take care and enjoy your life while I suffer inside Tekong.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/22/2005 11:35:00 AM |
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=WTF=
Now I know why army guys hardly update their blogs.
I feel so tired. My body is aching. I'm just not the outdoor type of person. But what the fuck, I have to go through it.
I'm going for a good meal now....Yay....
Friday, January 21, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/21/2005 11:38:00 PM |
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=Army Life=
I'm BOTAK.
Army sucks. I hate being confine on an island receiving hard training while others are enjoying themselves outside. In tekong, you don't have any knowledge of what the hell is happening in the world.
1st night in camp...slept without bedsheet, no blanket or pillow. Couldn't sleep..wanted to go to the toliet but too scared.
Counted down to the days to book out and yes...I finally made it.
Some commander are really nice, actually for my platoon everyone nice, just that they have to be fierce to instill discipline in us.
I really thinking if I should try for OCS, but I know I'm going to suffer in there...confine, get scolded etc.
Well, I see if I can make it there first then I will decide.
BOOK OUT..BOOK OUT..BOOK OUT DAY.......
I love civilian life...............
Sunday, January 09, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/09/2005 11:28:00 AM |
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=Enlisting On Mon=
I was suppose to enlist on sat 3.45. But somehow I fell really ill. Had a very high fever or 38.5 so the mo told me to go home and rest and enlist on mon. But on mon, I'm enlisting at 8am. WTF! Don't know if I'm able to wake up. Haha. I still have to carry my huge kiasu bag, its so embarressing. Haha.
Anyway, I'm still having a bad headache, it could be because of the high temp and my brain not able to take the heat. Sigh, It sucks feeling sick. I missed orientation in camp which I heard its really fun and slack. The only good point is I can slack at home. Haha.
I better go and rest now, take care people, cya when I get out ya.
*hugz*
Thursday, January 06, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/06/2005 11:11:00 AM |
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=Mambo...=
Mambo was great. Though I got a little bit high cause clifford bought jugs so I took some and he ordered a lambo for me. haha. Thanks man.
Anyway I spent very little time in mambo. For the first time I actually made it to the back of phuture. But fuck after drinking I had to go to the toliet urgently but the fucking place was so crowded i couldn't even move. So I had to endue....for very very long...I think I'm having bladder problems now.
Feeling sick now. Having a fever. Actually yesterday I was already sick, but I was thinking it's my birthday and my last mambo so wtf. Just go and enjoy the mambo music. I just love mambo so much. If you don't, then thats just too bad =p
I just realised I won't be able to bring in music cds that are copied or burn. Fuck man. How am I gona mambo in camp? haha. Oh well, lets hope theres a mambo addict too in camp who has like retro cds. Haha. I'm going to miss you zouk.....and mambo...
Of course I'm gona miss you the most. Don't be jealous. Haha =p *muackz*
Brothers...please take care. I guess this journey is one that we walk alone. But we must still try our best to be as close as always. Take care.
My jiemeis..don't worry, I will always remain as your jiemei. Maybe we can still go shopping together when I book out ya. Haha. K box, if I'm able to mambo! Haha... take care ya jiemeis. Hope to see you all soon. *hugz*
I guess this blog gona be very quiet for awhile. So good bye people...for now... take care. I see you all when I book out ya.
Sigh...army here I come.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/04/2005 08:28:00 PM |
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=Distant Relationship=
I'm growing old. We're all growing old.
Was reading a blog about 5 friends. 1 left for america, another just left like yesterday or so. It's sad, but this is life. Though we may try our best to stay close, it will never be. Distance plays a huge part in a close relationship. I guess we try to be best friends as long as we could. If fate allow us, I hope we can be friends forever.
Sigh, though we try to be as close as always, its just not the same as before. Its not the same when I was in sec2. But jie, I still love you =)
Take care in Hong Kong ya.
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| :: Ashley | | 1/04/2005 06:27:00 PM |
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=Orientation=
As I walked into the school gate, I could see faces...Happy faces. The year 1s look very happy playing the orientation games. The guys are enjoying cause there are girls, and the girls are enjoying cause its fun and partly also because there are handsome guys. haha.
I miss the atmosphere. I felt the air was different today then any other ordinary day after orientation. I just love that feeling. The feeling of being J1 all over again. How I want to be a J1, all I have to worry about is to study and passing my promos and partying.....unlike what I'm feeling now. Aimless in life, waiting for the army. Can't work cause I only have a month to enjoy and probably no one wants to employ me. All I can do is play, but yet after playing and enjoying myself, I feel nothing but emptiness inside.
Its great coming back to school seeing some of your friends and the new batch of J2s walking around like kings. Aren't we all like that...when we are in J1 we are kinda abit afraid...but yet when we move on to J2 we walk around school as if we own the place...like well...a gangster if you can put it this way..haha...its like school is your territory =p
I'm glad I can experience the feeling of being J1s again with the new batch of J1s. They play games, get to mingle around with girls. They laugh, smile, play, shout, cheer...its all so fun. I had my fair share of orientation when I was in J1 and I love it. Also the feeling of entering a new school, a new class, people you don't know. And yes, the courage to talk to the opposite sex, because that is what you need to survive in JC. Yes, you can say JC is a cruel place with lots of politics and shit, but hats just the way society works.
Its great seeing my juniors like Jianrong and Sarah. Haven't seen them in ages. Study hard in J2 ya..it will be over before you know it...cherish the time u have in Jc. You will miss it. Even the studying part........
Hopefully I can make it for tomorrow orientation again. Its like the Cca exhibition, so everyone will be touring the cca booth. Wonder how the bowling team will do this year.
Argh...I miss my Jc life.....
Monday, January 03, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/03/2005 01:07:00 AM |
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=S'pore 4 Myanmar 2=
They say S'porean are not patriotic. My fucking ass. Haha, after today's match at the National Stadium, no one can say that anymore. Everyone was behind team s'pore man. Its like Soccer has brought the country closer.
It was fucking fun man. The sounds of "fuck you", "butoh"(or however you spell it), "Cheebye" echo round the stadium. Middle fingers were pointing. WTF man! It was crazy. The first 60 min or so S'pore was down. The crowd was getting very very fustrated. i was just thinking this is S'pore last chance they better score one if not seriously, S'porean will never support s'pore soccer again. I mean, there were so many people at the stadium it was as though we are giving them a chance to prove that they are really good. I guess we as S'porean always have high hopes for the soccer team.
Anyway, S'pore came back and fuck did the whole place erupted. We went crazy, Me charles Sunil Rehan Justin. Everyone started throwing stuff everywhere. It was chaos man. hahaha. The match was very very rough. Not only on the pitch but on the spectators stand too.
The muds were like running towards the Myanmar side getting ready to fight. But the police intervene. Actually I was thinking they are really stupid, I mean the police can just arrest them for illegal secret society right. Oh ya, before that, there were like 3 Myanmar guys jumped down from the stand for god knows what. Then one of them started throwing punches to the police who tried to stop them. Fuck man. That guy seriously has balls. The police ran. But in the end the guy got subdued and arrested. The stupid things people do.
Anyway, the game was super rough. I mean, 3 Myanmar players got sent off? 2 of them received 2 yellow cards each, and the other for protesting and kicking mud at the referee. I guess after that it was really game over for them. Then S'pore missed the penalty. WTF man. If he didn't missed it, we wouldn't have to play extra time. But.....extra time was when all the actions started. Haha. All the fights I mean.
In the end S'pore won 8-5 on aggregate and proceed to the finals.
After the match was over everyone stood at the top looking down to the car park. Thinking there was a fight, we decided to hurry get out of the stadium to watch the fight. But actually there was none, everyone was looking down to see if there wre any fights. haha, WTF Anyway, while coming down, everyone was shouting OLE!! OLE OLE OLE! very loudly, the whole stadium was filled with cheers for the S'pore soccer Team. It was damn fun.
I realised Singaporeans are all very result orientated. When S'pore was down, all the vulgarities all started to come out, but when we are winning it was nothing but praises and support for the team. I guess we have become a very result orientated country. We just want to see result, no matter how well we played, as long we win, thats it. Oh well, thats how the government train us to be. Haha.
While going back, the celebration did not stop. Cars were all horning and people would shout SINGAPORE very loudly. Then there was this car that came and someone stick his head out and shouted MYANMAR! He was replied with a " FUCK YOU" by all the passerby. Even sunil shouted to him. Haha. It was damn funny man.
I remember as a kid I would follow my dad to watch soccer matches S'pore was playing. Back then, my dad was a hardcore S'pore fan. People would shout vulgarities and whistle and I would ask my dad what he said, but all my dad say was it was bad language and I shouldn't learn. Well, now I understand all these "bad language" and you can say I'm quite proficient in them. Haha.
People change.
What a match. What a day. What an eye opener.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/02/2005 01:04:00 PM |
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=Dancing With You Baby=
It seems to me Jc students fall into depression much easier than others. Ok, maybe I'm just sterotyping here.
Anyway, Its great waking up to retro. Summer rain by Slinkee Minx.
I just wanna dance with you in the summer rain....
Slinkee Minx - Summer Rain
Whispering our goodbyes, waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby in the summer rain
I can hear him saying nothing will change
Come dance with me baby in the summer rain
I remember the rain on our skin
And his kisses hotter than the Santa Ana winds
Whispering our goodbyes, waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby in the summer rain
I remember laughing till we almost cried
There at the station that night
I remember looking in his eyes
[CHORUS]
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart
I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
I can hear the whistle, military train
I was dancing with my baby, in the summer rain
I can hear him saying Ooh love is strange
Come dance with me baby, in the summer rain
I remember the rain pouring down
And we poured our hearts out as the train pulled out
I can see my baby waving from the train
It was the last time that I saw him in the summer rain
[CHORUS]
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain
Every time I see the lightening
Every time I hear the thunder
Every time I close the window
When this happens in summer
Oh the night is so inviting
I can feel that you are so close
I can feel you when the wind blows
Blows right through my heart
[CHORUS]
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Every night and every day now
Though I know you've gone anyway
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do nowDoesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Saturday, January 01, 2005
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| :: Ashley | | 1/01/2005 07:47:00 PM |
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=Happy New Year Bitches=
Happy New Year Everyone. Good bye 2004, hello 2005.
New was ok I guess. Not many people is in the mood this year. The reason is kinda obvious. Instead of counting down this year, we had a moment of silence. Then we started to drink.
I love to drink. This time we bought green apple concentrate and mixed with 7up and vodka in hopes of making our very own apple shooters. Haha, it tastes damn good anyway. Rehan was the first to get knocked out. Haha.
I'm falling sick.
I love WKRZ 91.3. Listening to the countdown on the net and they are playing one of my favourite euro dance music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Groove coverage- 7years and 50days
Sigh, I'm enlisting soon. last mambo, gona boogie till the club closes.
I miss grappling too, haiz. Bought a bundle of chopsticks to start my very own torture. Hope these chopsticks will last. Ohh my god!! Its dj valium spirit of yesterday!!!!!!! I love this song! Its just so significant to me. It brings back memories of J1 and the beginning part of year 2004. The songs just gets better.
I love my techno. While everyone is listening to Perfect 10 or power 98, I'm tuned in to my fav radio statio, 91.3. Waiting to see which techno comes in no.1 . And yes, I'm not afraid or embarress to say I'm a techno addict( As if you all did not know ) Haha
Anyway guys.....Cascada Miracles been voted no.1 . I just knew it!!!! Yeah!! I love that song the most man. Ahh, the song brings back wonderful memories. I love the lyrics too!
Sigh, these songs keep bringing back memories. Memories when I first entered ACJC. Then I just turned 17. In a blink of an eye, 2 years has passed and now I'm moving on with my life. It only seems like yesterday that JC life was starting. haiz...wonderful memories......memories that will always remain in my heart.
Time to move on bitch.......Mambo this wed!
Cascada - Miracles
Boy meets girl
You were my dream, my world
But I, was blind
You cheated on me from behind
So on... my own
I feel so all alone
Though I know it's true
I'm still in love with you
[Chorus]
I need a miracle, I wanna be your girl,
Give me a chance to see, That you are made for me,
I need a miracle, Please let me be your girl,
One day you'll see, It can happen to me
I need a miracle, I wanna be your girl,
Give me a chance to see, That you are made for me,
I need a miracle, Please let me be your girl,
One day you'll see, It can happen to me
It can happen to me .....
Day, and night
I'm always by your side
Cause I know for sure
My love is real my feelings pure
So fate attract
No need to ask me why
Cause I know it's true
I'm still in love with you
Dj Valium - Spirit Of Yesterday
I remember the days,
I remember the place
'cause I wish you were mine
just a moment in time
Say my name in the night and to you it feels right'
cause into your arms I fall
You decided to leave just as long as I breathe
It's my very last try, don't you tell me goodbye
I remember the place, I remember the days
The best time of my life
I call the spirit of yesterday, spirit of yesterday
I fall into your arms again, into your arms one day (2X)
I'm recalling the days, I recall the right place
'cause I wish you were here to be my atmosphere
Paint my name in the sky, angel wings take it high
'cause into your arms I fall
You were _____ to ease and for now I say please
It's my message to you, it's the last rendez-vous
I remember the place, I remember the days
The best time of my life
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Groove Coverage - 7years And 50Days
7years and 50 days the time has passing by
nothing in this world could beas nice as you and I
and how could we break up like this
and how could we be wrong
so many years so many days and I still sing my song
[refrain]
I belong to you .. like I always do
when I close my eyes and I think of you
such a lonely girl, such a lonely world
when I close my eyes I dream
I returned to you .. like I always do
when I close my eyes and I think of you
such a lonely girl, such a lonely world
when I close my eyes I dream of you
7 years and 50 days
now just look at me
am I the girl I use to be
so damn what do you see
and how could we break up like this
and how could we be wrong
so many years so many days and I still sing my song
1x Refrain
7 years and 50 days the time has passing by
nothing in this world could beas nice as you and I
and how could we break up like this
and how could we be wrong
so many years so many days and I still sing my song
1 x refrain
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What I Know About Myself
